Happy birthday in heaven
Hope you have a happy birthday in heaven. Sean has started his medication and i am hoping this will help him to cope with the loss of you and his other problems.
Went to counselling today with sean and he has now been given medication as he is so depressed and angry over your death.
I hope this medication helps him as i know he will never fully recover from never having had the chance to meet you and know you, but he has to move forward and be a normal teenager and adult.
I get all the blame for your death, but its not my fault, you took drink and drugs and overdosed, but he has no one but me to blame as you are gone.
I hope one day that sean can find peace and coem to terms with all whats has happened to him.
Sean is 17 now and just started at Oaklands college, he is studying business. I have to go to counselling with him every 2 weeks as he is still very messed up over your death and never having met you. He would like to meet his half brother Shane too, but we cant find him.
Your mum met him and was so drunk and abusive that Sean didnt want to see her again, that was in 2004. He has no contact with any family member connected to you and i think that makes him feel sad.
I hope you have found peace in heaven and i hope one day that Sean will find peace here on earth.
Seven Years........2009
Its been seven long years since you passed away. you are at peace now and its a better way for you to live in heaven. x
SO HARD
ITS NOT OFTEN I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE TO YOU, BUT I HAVE HAD A BAD FEW MONTHS WITH SEAN SINCE HE TURNED 16. HE IS MIXING WITH THE WRONG KIDS, HE LIES, HE HAS STARTED TO CALL ME NAMES AND I WORRY VERY MUCH ABOUT HIS MENTAL HEALTH SOMETIMES.
hE HAS NEVER BEEN RIGHT SINCE THE DAY HE FOUND OUT YOU DIED. HE ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WOULD MEET YOU AND HE NEVER CAN AND THAT HURTS HIM NOT TO HAVE EVER SEEN YOU IN PERSON, OR HEARD YOUR VOICE. HE NEVER WENT TO YOUR FUNERAL AND HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT YOU WERE ABOUT. I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE LIKE AND THATS WHY I HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE YOUR VIOLENCE TOWARDS US WAS SO BAD, BUT SEAN DOESNT UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY I DO, BECAUSE HE WAS STILL A BABY WHEN WE WENT TO THE REFUGE AND HAS NO MEMORY OF YOU AT ALL.
ITS ALL LIKE A BAD DREAM AND I FIND IT HARD SOMETIMES BEING A SINGLE PARENT TWICE OVER, BUT I MANAGE, I HAVE TOO.
I AM VERY DEPRESSED TODAY AND AS ALWAYS I WILL SNAP OUT OF IT SOON FOR THE SAKE OF MY BOYS.
IT IS SO HARD THOUGH.
ONE SMILE FOR ALL,
ONE HEART OF GOLD,
ONE OF THE BEST THIS WORLD COULD HOLD,
NEVER SELFISH,
ALWAYS KIND,
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MEMORY TO LEAVE BEHIND. X
hey Glen .. !!
what a crazy thing life is huh ??? .. it does get too much and i can totally understand why you wanted out .. but i wish you was able to open up more to lorraine .. !! .. us women are not mind readers you know !! ..x.
you prob regret a awfull lot and wish u could turn back time .. sadly this cant happen ..
however what you can do is send love and strength to your family here and keep a watch over your son .. he seems to be very very upset and angry with life at the moment and its not fair on his mum .. x
untill the day you all meet again ..
GRAVE
Sorry glen, can not get to visit you this christmas, have got lots of nice presents for sean to open on christmas day. Maybe you will be watching over him.
Things r a bit better between sean and i. we have had some talks and i hope sean realises i am the only parent he will ever have and we need 2 get along.
keep having arguements with sean, he reminds me of u so much. He has a attitude and is angry like u used 2 be. I dont know what 2 do anymore.
I am almost starting 2 dislike him, yet he is my son. I have no one who can help me with him. Our arguements are everyday now and its getting 2 much 4 me 2 cope with.
Will write again soon.
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